When I first saw this, I assumed there was at least a 90% chance it was fake. A photoshopped image or a completely faked headline with all the authenticity of a Wanted poster with tourists faces on it hawk at Old West tourist traps or one of those novelty magazine covers they used to sell where you could make your dad Time's Man of the Year or put your kid Tee Ball kid on the cover of a Wheaties box. But this is legit. The only man at that time to quarterback four Super Bowl champions wanted to check into a hospital under an assumed name. The name he chose just happened to be that of a 6-year-old from the Bay Area who would grow up to shatter all of Terry Bradshaw's records.
A reader who has access to Lexis Nexus (and claims to be a suburban dad/Jets fan, so make of that what you will) did a search for me and found this, from the New York Times. And hang onto something because it's about to get even weirder:
Steeler in Disguise
The New York Times
March 23, 1983, Wednesday, Late City Final Edition
The patient who entered a Shreveport, La., hospital for surgery earlier this month was registered as ''Thomas Brady'' and his medical condition was likened to ''tennis elbow.'' But the name was an alias, his doctor revealed yesterday, and the ailment was an analogy.
It could more appropriately have been described as ''football elbow.'' For the man Dr. Bill Bundrick really operated on, he said, was Terry Bradshaw, the Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback. ''He's doing well,'' Dr. Bundrick said, noting that Bradshaw had been released from the hospital a few days after surgery to repair tears in the muscle near his right elbow. ''It's the same thing as tennis elbow,'' said Dr. Bundrick, who disclosed that Bradshaw had suffered from the condition for about a year. Dr. Bundrick said Bradshaw would be able to start throwing a football in June and should have no further problems with the elbow.
Say what? "Tom Brady's" surgeon was Dr. Bill Bundrick? Dr. Bill B****ick. If you want to dismiss this as totally random, coincidental happenstance, go right ahead. I've got my own ideas.
This goes way beyond mere weird, quirky incident. This is what Carl Jung defined as a Synchronicity, a "meaningful coincidence of two or more events where something other than the probability of chance is involved". In other words, no a coincidence at all. Something deeper and more profound is going on here. There are forces at play in the universe that are way beyond our understanding, and every so often they reveal themselves to us in ways such as this.
This might not absolutely prove my theory that we are living in a simulation that exists entirely inside the mind of the actual Tom Brady. But it certainly helps. And it is further proof that Brady is a being beyond all space and time. So much so that he can appear in a newspaper article from 38 years ago, mentioned alongside a doctor whose name is eerily similar to the man who made him what he is. He's the football equivalent of that time traveler who showed up in the background of a Charlie Chaplin movie talking on her cell phone.
It's a much simpler explanation of how a guy can win his seventh ring and still be leading the league in deep passing at the age of 43 than anything anyone else has come up with.
So dismiss this if you must. Call this mere coincidence if that suits you. I've been scoffed at before. But I'm declaring this X-File CONFIRMED.