Reese's Announced A Peanut Butter Cup With No Chocolate, Which Has Me Lowkey Terrified

Nope, don't like that ONE bit. Okay I like this a lot of bits because Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite candy, which is quite a statement for someone my size. What I don't like is that the good people at Reese's are separating a dynamic duo in an attempt to make a buck. Think of all the bands that allowed their lead singer to "pursue" a single career that would only last an album or so before coming back to the band. You know how many albums those bands usually put out after that supposed one project? Zero. Zilch. Nada. The magical Reese's peanut butter is clearly the straw that stirs that drink for the peanut butter cup since it's a type of peanut butter you juuuuuust can't quite find anywhere else. Don't get me wrong, the chocolate of the Reese's is no slouch in its own right, especially when it appears to be sweating just a little bit in a fresh pack. But it's the peanut butter that keeps the people coming back for more. I know it, you know it, and he will know it after these PB cups are released which will inevitably lead to chocolate getting phased out of the greatest 1-2 combo the world has ever seen that was created on that one magic and tragic night.

A split hasn't officially happened yet, but when it does it will be my Beatles breaking up moment. Which is why I am going to pre-emptively soothe myself the only way I know how, which is by going to CVS and shoveling multiple Reese's Eggs down my throat. Thank you for respecting my privacy during this difficult time.