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Winning $300,000 On A Slot Machine While Waiting For Your Flight Out Of Vegas Is The Single Greatest Win In Gambling History



A $300,000 hit while waiting on a flight out of Vegas. That's beyond winning the lottery. Nobody is supposed to leave Vegas with money. The entire point of flying out of Vegas is so you can go home, regroup, rethink your life, maybe pop open the Bible, call an old friend, and swear of drugs and alcohol forever. You are supposed to be dodging calls from your bank for the next 3 months. That's what leaving Vegas is all about- depression and an unidentifiable rash on a body part you'd prefer to not have a rash on.

And to be honest, I didn't even realize you could win on an airport slot machine. I know that sounds stupid, but it's one of those things my brain convinced me of a long time ago. I decided (based on nothing) that nobody wins on airport slot machines because it would just be so inconvenient. Like, it makes sense to win in casinos because they have staff and security and the payout people and all of that. Airports just have moving sidewalks, screaming babies, Auntie Annes pretzels, and carts that nearly run you over. The fierce rulers of airports are TSA agents, who I trust as much as a Brandon Walker diet tip. So I always assumed nobody won on airport slot machines, and instead they were there so people took pictures and captioned it "you know you're in Vegas when..." and everyone goes bananas that you can gamble in the airport.

Again, I know that's probably highly illegal, but it always made sense to me and why I wait for flights eating chips and salsa and drinking $14 draft beers at the airport bar, you know, like an adult. Well, pie on my face. Because apparently, it does happen.




I hope she upgraded to first class.

Will this change my mind about airport slots? Absolutely not. This is a plant by Big Slot Machine to try to pull you away from the airport bar. I believe other people are onto my airport slot theory and now the suits at Big Slot have to try and change our perceptions. I'm so onto them. I will not be fooled. Well...maybe. I do love Wheel Of Fortune, after all. Someone get me the fuck to Vegas ASAP.


EDIT: It appears Clem did this blog 6 hours ago. My apologies to Clem. I missed it. Click on his twice!