Naked Dude At A Florida Apartment Building Is In Critical Condition After Running With A Bible And Pointing To His Dick While Yelling “You Want Some Of This”

Damn, Florida Man. Not good! What a tragic tale of swinging some brain, a Bible, and catching a bullet for it. Look, I’m not sure what to even say here. Like many of you, I too have been naked. I too have been shot. I too have lived in Florida. I too have carried a Bible. This could have been any of us if we lost our minds and ran around naked at an apartment building shouting “you like what you see?” Luckily, we haven’t done that. For that, I am grateful. 

Let this be a reminder to everyone, though. Only show your genitals to people who ask to see them. Don’t flash people whilst they are relaxing in their apartment. Don’t take a pic of it and send it to an unsuspecting person. In fact, make people sign a legal document before anyone, doctors included, see your cock. I know what you’re thinking. “Chaps, I don’t have a printer.”

There’s plenty of apps out there that allow you to digitally sign cockdocs. You just download the app, search “cock viewer,” and then sign with your finger. You can save the cockdoc as a PDF and print it later (for your records) when you are around a printer. It’s really that simple.

Get well soon, Naked Man. I’m fairly confident you’ve learned your lesson. I think we all have.