Auston Matthews Is On His Rockstar Shit Right Now

Mark Blinch. Getty Images.

Remember that time when Dany Heatley score 50 in '07? Of course you do. I mean how could you possibly ever forget? Back-to-back 50 goals seasons for the Fuckin' All Star himself. It was a legendary year. 

Well now we've got Young Pablo. The sauciest stallion we've seen since Heater. 

There's no doubt whatsoever that AM34 would have hit a 50 spot last season had the year not been prematurely ended. 47 goals in 70 games played. Pretty sick GPG average right there if you ask me. But this year? Well Auston Matthews clearly does not give one flying shit about playing a shortened season. This sick bastard has his eyes set on 50 and it doesn't matter if they're only playing 56 regular season games this year. Don't be silly. He's still gonna send it. 

16 goals through the first 17 games of the season. On pace for 52-53 goals on the year, and this maniac might not even be in 6th gear yet. He's just cruising around in 3rd gear for the 1/3 of the season. Just imagine what happens when he really goes out there looking to stomp on some throats? 60 goals? 70? 100? Guess we'll just have to wait and find out. But right now it looks like he's playing Be A Pro mode on easy. If you're not rooting for 50 in 56, you have no soul. 

P.S. - Mitch needs some hand sanitizer after this one. Break out the good stuff.