-I don’t get how people still use “call my phone when it’s lost” tactic. I don’t know who on God’s green Earth still has their ringer on besides 60 year olds who mainly use their phones to play Candy Crush.
-If you live in an apartment building with neighbors you don’t like, here’s a great idea. Bark like a dog every so often throughout the day. This works for two reasons. One, it will annoy the neighbors. And two, when they one day realize that you don’t actually have and it’s just been you barking this whole time, they’ll be extremely confused and possibly move out.
-It’s an impossible spot to wish a twin happy birthday on social media. At first, it looks like “Oh look nice post for a sibling.” But then people realize “Oh wait, do they just want birthday wishes for themselves?” But if you don’t post at all, do you seem unsupportive? No win situation.
-One of my best talents is guessing the gender of babies before they’re born. Not to brag, but I do bat about .500 - Hall of Fame numbers.
-People too liberally use the word “best friend.” People will list off multiple people who are their best friends. But the word “best” is literally a superlative. It means one. You can have a lot of very good friends. But there’s only one best.
-I haven’t had a churro in a really long time.
-We automatically assume that anyone who has a lot of cash in their wallet is rich, but that’s not necessarily true. They could just like having cash on them but be pretty poor. I’m sure there’s plenty of millionaires and billionaires who prefer not carrying cash around. It is, however, a good way to trick people into thinking you’re rich if you’re into that sort of thing.
-I apologize for missing the last couple of weeks. It was not a cry for attention as I previously mentioned. I was busy filming and winning Surviving Barstool and didn’t think I could give my thoughts enough thinking. Plus for the 100th episode, I wanted to make sure I was focused. But for anyone thinking I was going to make this some grand extravaganza, that’s just not the kind of guy I am. I’m not about the bowes and whistles. Just all about doing my job humbly and quietly.
Thank you for your time.