Somebody call the cops!!! We have a MONSTER on the loose!!! I mean how in the HECK is this lil guy not behind bars at worst, or locked up in solitary at best? It's just one more reason we need massive criminal justice reform or something like that idk. But seriously, put yourself in the victim's shoes here. One moment you're lying on the floor, minding your own business, getting your tiger snooze on, and the next minute you've got a little poof ball of chocolaty sweetness surprising you with an ambush. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm 99% sure this move the chocolate lab puppy is pulling is in direct violation of the Geneva Accords.
Speaking about terrorists, we drafted the "most miserable days of the year" with KFC this week and it was a doozy, but Red Ed had his fingerprints all over it, per usual. Just disgusting what Portnoy lets this guy get away with. If it were up to me and the rest of Barstool Chicago, he'd be locked up in Gitmo getting waterboarded and hopefully giving every ounce of info about his tyrannical reign as Snake Draft commissioner to our water boarders. If not, then so help us god. We're all doomed.
Take a listen!