Bernie Sanders An Ignorant Slut? Let's Look At The Facts

Look, I don't know Bernie Sanders personally. I don't know what's going on in this meeting but I never would have thought that sweet, innocent, newborn baby Bernie Sanders would have to sit there in a fancy leather chair while being accused of being a slut. What's this all about? We aren't slut-shaming anymore. Men. Women. Non-Binary people. Everyone has the god-given right to spread their legs and either receive or give with whomever they chose so long as the other partner or partners are willing. Lick. Thrust. Do whatever you like and the government should have absolutely no say in the matter. 

I dont want some sort of stimulus check tied to the purity from the Senator from Vermont. I just don't. I'd rather you keep it than suggest that Bernie cant get his rocks off if he wants. He's a happily married man, for Christ's sake. 

This hearing is about confirming the OMB position which I always equate with Office Manager Brett. RIP. I do have a touch of a problem with what's happening in these hearings. Should we be going to the Twitter threads of those looking for new jobs or new positions? Are we going to go through every online statement with a fine-tooth comb like we are looking for lice? No. That Out Kicks our Coverage of oversite. Well, on second thought, we probably vet these things but I want it on the record, should I need to find employment in the future, that I was JOKING when I said that I wanted to smell Peter Kings' dick or that Bob Costas can suck my dick from the back. Bob said that the Jaguars should have never been awarded to Jacksonville. What was I supposed to do- take that laying down like I'm Bernie Sanders or something? Nope. You gotta fire off mean tweets if you wanna be noticed. I can't just say "Hey Bob. Chill" and get like 1500 likes on that. I gotta tell the offender to suck my dick raw or to eat my ass. Hell, I can probably do it in the form of a song to make it a little nicer but I still gotta do it. 

Either way, I cant attest to Bernie Sanders' sexual proclivities but may a thousand blossoms bloom as far as I'm concerned but I aint gonna spend any more time on it because in the meantime, every 90 days a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland.