2021 Is Officially The Year That Heelys Make Their Comeback
Let me ask you guys a rather simple, straight forward, yes or no question real quick. You don't want to die as a friendless virgin, do you?
If I had to guess, most of you probably answered "no" to that question. And for good reason. Friends are dope, sex is neat. But if you ain't Heelin' in 2021, well then there's a damn good chance that you'll end up as both of those things.
Let's just say the boys are about to hit the town for the afternoon and everybody decides they're going to rip their Heelys down there. You show up in a pair of Yeezy's thinking your some sort of hype beast or some shit and you're immediately left out of the crew. What are you going to do? Order an Uber and just get there way before the rest of the crew? Ride a bike like a dork? You can't do a damn thing and now you just lost your group of friends. And even if you miraculously end up meeting everybody later, your boys are all out there buzzin' around town and looking hot as shit in a pair of Heelys. You can't compete with that when it comes to attracting a sexual partner. You're heading home alone and there's not a single soul you can blame for this catastrophic failure of a day besides yourself.
Sounds like a terrible time, right? Maybe next time you'll get yourself a pair of Heelys so you can join in on the action.