Vladimir Putin Says Sepp Blatter Deserves A Nobel Prize

ESPNfc – Russian President Vladimir Putin believes FIFA chief Sepp Blatter is innocent of corruption, and even deserves a Nobel Prize. Putin, whose country will host the 2018 World Cup, met Blatter before the event’s preliminary draw on Saturday and said the leader of the football’s under-fire world governing body had his respect. “We all know the situation developing around Mr Blatter right now,” Putin said in an interview with Swiss broadcaster RTS. “I don’t want to go into details but I don’t believe a word about him being involved in corruption personally. “I think people like Mr Blatter or the heads of big international sporting federations, or the Olympic Games, deserve special recognition. If there is anyone who deserves the Nobel Prize, it’s those people.”

Well this is just a case of semantics. Theres no way Vladimir Putin knows what the Nobel Prize is. He’s to busy plotting how hes going to conquer to world to worry about prizes and toys and shit. He probably thinks its pronounced no-bull like Big Cat. So he’s like “Yea sure, Sepp Blatter is a nobel guy. He wins. Now if you’ll excuse me, Gerard Depardieu and I have to get back to world domination.”

I dont really know enough about soccer and I certainly dont know shit about Nobel Prizes but I’m pretty sure Sepp Blatter is almost directly responsible for like 2,000 dead people in Qatar. Marched them off to their death. “Build me this soccer stadium and die!” Homeboy is straight up like an Egyptian Pharaoh. Just tons of dead poor people making him his fancy buildings. I’m sure there’s like a billion other things he’s done that doesnt quite meet the Nobel Prize criteria but I think the thousands of dead migrant workers probably rule him out of contention for this year’s running. Maybe next time, Sepp! Might want to change your pick, Putin. I hear Kim Jong Un has only shot one or two of his buddies with rocket launchers recently. He’s probably a good candidate.