People Won't Stop Talking About My 4-10 Split Last Night And I Honestly Can't Blame Them

I didn't want to make a big deal out of this but I don't really have a choice based on user engagement and data analytics. It's obvious you guys are craving more Thursday night two-handed trick shot magic so here I am to deliver. Maybe it doesn't soak everybody's panties but where I'm from that's a great fucking shot. Which reminds me: strikes get you laid but spares get you paid. 

On that subject last night was first night of league play at Diversey River Bowl and boy am I in heaven. It's a 3-game league but often times you get the itch and can't stop scratching. So me and the guys end up doing another 3-game exhibition just to get the muscle memory going. Fast forward to 11pm and I'm still on lane 15 - ALONE - stroking the pin action. Another 12 hours later and my hamstrings hamstrings are so ready to pop I said the word twice to get your attention. That's not a typo it's a tactic. I've got the kind of lactic acid build up that's usually reserved for squat thrust overdose recovery. My ass is on fire and it feels great. Little hungover. Little buzz lingering when the alarm went off today. And for the first time in nearly a year, things kinda feel normal? 

That's a little dramatic. But I will say the first cig break was magical. Cig breaks don't get enough credit. Quick unofficial power rankings: 

5. Wrigleyville cigs while the sun is up but after a day baseball game and you're super hammered and paying $1 a piece. 

4. Adderall cig break studying for a big test 

3. Just won a Dog Walk Snake Draft cig (I need to buy another pack) 

2. Pregnancy cig just kidding - that's fucked up. Let's go with getting a hot cup of coffee on a cold day. 

1. Thanksgiving cigs before and after dinner. 

To be clear these aren't "best cigs" but rather purely "smoke break cigs" and I think that's an important distinction. Cigs inside trump, obviously. 

In other news, a 4-10 is not in the Top 10 hardest splits to pick up according to research. Pretty sure it's top 25 though, which is historically always good enough for me. You get a special tingle anytime you see a little number next to your team's name on a television scoreboard. 4-10 splits may be unique but that feeling is not. 

Which reminds me, BUY ROUGH N ROWDY TONIGHT!!!!!!