The Definitive Mount Rushmore Snake Draft Power Rankings Of The Best And Worst Super Bowl Foods
With The Big Game™™™ coming up this Sunday, Me and The Big Fella decided to dive into the thing that truly makes or breaks a Super Bowl party: The food. Let's be honest, the game could suck, the commercials can be lame, and every bet you made can go up in mudderfucking flames (said in Frank The Tank's voice). But as long as the spread is good, you can walk away happy from the greatest unofficial holiday on God's green Earth.
As for the draft, I can't believe we live in a world where Large drafted something as simple as sour cream and onion dip. He doesn't fancy it up either or even call it French onion dip. He makes his dip by combining a 16 oz. container of sour cream and that glorious blue box of Lipton French Onion Mix, which I don't think has ever been used to actually make French Onion soup, then mixes it in a bowl. True common man stuff for one of the few members of the Finer Things Club here at Barstool.
I personally think I whooped on him by taking the greatest app ever with my first pick, a legitimate Super Bowl staple that every girl thinks they are the best at making at the 2 pick, and a food that only comes out on the biggest of occasions (to clarify this is a 6 foot hero with chicken cutlet, fresh mozz, and roasted red peppers). Wings are solid but messy while making chipwiches takes time and there is only one dessert I believe should be served during NFL games.
As for the worst, I don't think there is any arguing with these picks. I'd rather bring a knife to a gunfight than veggies to a Super Bowl party. There is always the person that brings pre-packaged shrimp to the party because they think it will make the party classier. Those people are wrong, just like the people who eat those shrimp that all look a little too similar for comfort. The sliders pick will cause some controversy, so be sure to tweet @LargeBarstool any of your anger about that. And finally, I stand firm that the Super Bowl is an event that should involve no silverware. Yes, I understand that chili gets thrown out with the bathwater in this scenario. But there are enough variables going on during the Super Bowl with children and drunk assholes with the coordination of children. We don't need a rogue spoon to cause a disaster. Hell, just load up on some Tostitos Scoops and no spoon is needed.
The pod is below where we breakdown our full draft, discuss a garbageman who got fired for kicking the shit out of a snowman, and Large gives us a recap of the meme stock madness of last week.