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This Chick's Tinder Response To A Dude Trying To Get Her Number Is Like A Trap From The Movie 'Saw'

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You come at this girl with some weak pickup attempt and that’s what you get. And I absolutely respect the move. I’m probably more aware of it because of this blog but there are SO MANY guys and girls recycling the same lines and bios out there that we all have to collectively agree not to reward it and this girl is doing her part. Sure if she does this with a lot of guys there’s a decent chance her dad has a way bigger incoming dick pic collection on his phone than he’d be hoping for and the awkwardness of her mom finding out and not knowing the background is a bit much. But that’s a small price to pay for making random guys’ lives a little more awkward and a fitting punishment for this dad inadvertently raising the Lex Luthor of Tinder hoes.

 

And so begins another week of the Internet’s preeminent Tinder blog (check out previous ones here if you want to catch up). It never ceases to amaze me how many of these submissions come in every week so thank you all for continuing to send them in. Hit me with your funny/hot/bizarre Tinder screenshots on Twitter (DMs are open for your privacy) and now let’s make with the judging others to get to the Summer Friday finish line.

 
 

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(via EOB)

 

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Probably should have avoided the slippery rocks (via djmatty)

 

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Her bio and photo combo are so great that you can overlook the fact that only an absolute psychopath would have her name spelled Jacqui (via cduvo)

 

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Your competition for the week is stylish and has great taste in meats, though I presume Tinder chicks taste gamey more often than not (via Chloe)

 

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If I were a chick I’d go with the cannibal over some dude referencing “scat and blood” within two sentences of his bio (via Kelly)

 

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My boy Remi up top files this one under the “hot and mildly NSFW” category in his Tinder blog (via Clarkie)

 

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She’s so good at poetry that you’ve got to willing to overlook that she looks like a 14-year-old Pippi Longstocking (via trash)

 

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There’s a chance Sarah just doesn’t speak English right? Because otherwise I’ve got no clue why anyone would ever do this (via dwy)

 

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(via PP)

 

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(via Kony)

 

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She’s like the Tinder version of LeBron’s Instagram (via JOC and Rybo)

 

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Real recognizes real that is made entirely of plastic, Louisa (via LAB)

 

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Jolt Cola pussy or gtfo (via BT)

 

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Hopefully any guys replying here have a dick equivalent to a baby Aspirin (via Bill)

 

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As discussed many times, I’m a big emoji guy but this kid is so next level it sickens me (via Kevin, also fuck Kevin)

 

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Self-aware fat girl game so 100 (via EL)

 

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Exact opposite here (via JB)

 

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I knew there was a reason I saved my cereal box decoder rings

 

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Tinder in Georgia for real (via JB)

 

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Tinder in South Dakota for real (via Manley)

 

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Tit tattoos and herpes are the building blocks of any functional adult relationship (via Tweedle)

 

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I’d like to imagine she made the profile before the reception ended, possibly even before the Electric Slide (via JF)

 

tmc

As weird of a move as it is putting this all out there in a Tinder bio, just think how it’d be a much more uncomfortable conversation during a second date at a wine bar (via TMC)

 

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Hopefully Make A Wish swipes right

 
 

And the hot and mildly NSFW ones…

 

dc

Finally a right swipe you and Chris Brown can agree on (via dc)

 

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Jessica is very-well trained for an 18-year-old (via bmac)

 

beardface

They might seeing the booty on the right (via beardface)

 

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(via JP)

 

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Listen she definitely has an awful body but still, this whole thing just works (via BS)

 

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The funny thing is she didn’t even draw that, her vagina naturally emits pink paint and heart emojis (via BB)

 

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#tinderchicksloveanalandeatlikesantaclaus (via dmurph)

 

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It’s 1000% an awful idea to inject yourself into this situation but you’d pretty much have to (via JP)

 

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I think less of her for this, save the sexual favors and Requiem for a Dream reenactments for hard drugs (via MLB)

 

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Ruby Rose did not take my blog about her not being hot very well (via S)

 

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(via DL)

 

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(via Dubya)

 

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I love a good tan line but this might be a “not wanting to see McNuggets while they’re still pink slime” scenario (via Jbob)

 

And this week’s NSFW cherry on top is a girl who’s very excited to show off a new piercing (via Cal). Don’t forget to send me your screenshots on Twitter and happy swiping!