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Woman Says Her Cousin Lit Her House On Fire In The Middle Of The Night For The Best Reason Ever





So that headline feels very click bait but I couldn’t ruin the surprise for you guys.  I didn’t have it in me.  I had multiple titles that gave away the reason why the cousin started the fire but I wanted you to get the M. Night Shyamalan twist naturally like I did.  His motive for lighting her house on fire could’ve been anything under the sun.  Anything normal families go through.  Like she owes him money.  Or he hates her side of the family.  Or she had the good meth.  Or she always brings gift cards to the family Christmas gift exchange.  ANY number of reasons could’ve come out of her mouth but nope.  It was simply incest.  Dude is pissed that he can’t fuck his cousin so he lit her garage on fire.  That’s like redneck poetry.  No passion burns brighter than the passion that burns for incest.  And yes, we should all be concerned about how effortlessly she mentioned her cousin’s desire to have sex with her on the local news.  Like she’s definitely told that story a million times before and doesn’t phase her anymore. Now I wanna hear the whole story to be completely honest.  Gotta be one hell of a tale.


PS- I like how she said, “I’m don’t wanna mention no names, but my cousin who wants to fuck me and beat my husband to a pulp last month and put him in the hospital is the one who started the fire.”  I’m no Sherlock Holmes but I’m gonna say those two things narrow the search down to only a handful of people.  Let the search begin for the husband-beating cousin fucker.



This is the look of a broken man


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