Black Friday Weekend - 20% OffShop Now

Just a Reminder That If You Try To Take a Selfie With a Bison Out In The Wild, It's Going To Try And Kill You

Screen Shot 2015-07-23 at 2.07.51 PM

CNN - Visitors to Yellowstone Park seem to be having trouble taking in the message that it’s not a good idea to get too close to the wild bison that roam the wilderness. The latest person to find out the hard way is a 43-year-old Mississippi woman who tried to take a selfie with one of the hairy beasts near a trail on Tuesday. She and her daughter turned their backs to the bison, which was about 6 yards away, to take a photo with it, according to the National Park Service. “They heard the bison’s footsteps moving toward them and started to run, but the bison caught the mother on the right side, lifted her up and tossed her with its head,” the park service said in a statement Wednesday.  The woman is the fifth person injured after approaching a bison in Yellowstone so far this season — and the third whose dangerous encounter resulted from photo-taking. Park authorities make an effort to warn people not to get too close to animals.

If I’m this bitch who got rocked after taking a selfie, I’m pretty pleased with myself. You don’t go all the why to Yellowstone and bake in the sun out in fucking Wyoming for nothing. Makes me laugh just to think people used to go to Yellowstone to experience nature, not to put some filters on a picture and upload it to Instagram to feel good about themselves. HAH! So good for this woman for taking the bison selfie. That’s true commitment. I mean anyone can take a picture of a wild animal from 20 yards away, but not just anyone can get 6 yards away, we’re talking less than a first down away from a 2 ton wild animal, and snap a picture with it, probably while throwing up a very white gang sign. She has nothing to be ashamed of. She went into the Bison’s kitchen and came out with a picture of it.

PS: Yellowstone seems cool in theory, you get geysers and maybe work on that tan and be like woah the whole world isn’t a complete piece of shit, this is awesome. And then bears start attacking your car and entire families start chasing after you when you’re out on a walk and you really start thinking that sitting inside in the AC watching Netflix might not be the worst thing in the world after all.