Does Anyone Have An Ice Skate Because I Need To Responsibly Knock My Tooth Out Of My Face

Real quick because I need to do something to take my mind off of the pain- does anyone in NYC have an ice skate I can borrow so I can chomp down on it like an apple and knock my tooth out please? Because I'm fucking dying over here. Let me set the scene:

It all started in 1988 when my parents had an extra glass of wine at dinner. Flash forward 32 years and I'm living in my apartment in New York City, responsibly investing too much money into stocks at the advice of KB's former students, hoping to get rich. It actually worked too- I more than doubled my money in $AMC today. Until after hours the suits decided to be fucking scumbags and everything went to absolute hell. I mean what in the actual fuck? I fucking hate Wall Street. It's all good and dandy when they are messing with the money, but when it's us, they shout bloody murder. Slime balls, every last one of them. I hope we win tomorrow though. They still have way too much shorted. All we have to do is hold and/or keep buying and we should win. 

But anyway. So I double my money during the day and everything goes to shit after hours. Even AAPL, which is my biggest bag. I've made a fair decent amount on Apple stock. Much like PENN, all it does it go up. I've been buying it since 2016 and I'm up like 140% on it. It's great. So Apple crushes earnings by a wide margin and still goes down 3% after hours. Good times. So after a day of crushing the blog, crushing Wall Street, and then seeing the fruits of my investment labors come crushing down, I took a quick nap. 

There I am in la-la land, having a little tiger snooze, and I start having one of those dreams where you're still asleep, but you can feel things in real life. And what did I feel? Major tooth pain. Emphasis on the MAJOR. But I'm still asleep, but in my dream my tooth is killing me. So I wake up and nope, that was not just in dream world, my tooth is getting skull fucked right now. Like, absolutely bent over and drilled in ways only grandma could speak about.

By this point it's 7:30 at night and I'm still refreshing AMC after hours hoping it turns around It does a little, but my tooth ache does not subside. I'm pretty sure it's trying to kill me. And that's where the ice skate comes in. Now I know it's a tricky subject because apparently if you work at Barstool and associate with an ice skate that makes you a white supremacist, but I really could use one right now. And if not, I could certainly use 100 responsible Oxys and or a dentist appointment first thing in the morning. Because this is outrageous pain.

So tomorrow I have to wake up for pre-market and see how my way too big, once doubled, now in the tank investment is doing, I have to find a dentist that can fix me up, and I have to blog double since YP's worthless ass won't do a single thing. Long day ahead of me. God speed.