Absurd Stats To Enjoy At Your Leisure, Tom Brady Super Bowl Edition

Short, simple, to the point. 3 Balls on the funny scale. Guy shows up, takes the helm of one of the most incompetent franchises in sports, plays three (3) playoff games, and is already the all time leader in playoff touchdowns. 

True greatness isn't merely setting and breaking records. Genuine, unrivaled dominance is breaking your own records that you forgot you even set in the first place. Also, any time a quarterback is the first to do something since 1948 or some other made up year, just say he's the first to do it. I don't care if someone never threw an interception out of the Wing-T. Good for them. This feels more impressive to me. 

This is like seeing Bonds' HR totals post-35. Or like if you remove all Greztky's goals he'd still have the points record. Absurd. 17 playoff wins over the last 8 years. Absolute minimum two playoff wins a year, every year, you can take that to the bank. You remove his first three rings, the entire runs to hoist those Lombardis, he's still got more playoff wins than anyone. Both rude and also silly. 

Probably my favorite out of this entire crop. Tom Brady is 9-3 against the NFC in the playoffs, with three of those losses coming against the best team the NFC has to offer in a given year. For years I've heard Packers fans run their mouths about Rodgers being better and more talented than Brady. For years they said playing in the AFC East was the lone reason TB12 was able to make these deep playoff runs due to easier access to higher seeding. And then yesterday Tom waltzed into Lambeau and beat Rodgers on his own field with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line, a week after sending Drew Brees home in his own building. That AFC East narrative was always dumb, as if the Patriots would've really struggled to keep up with the Steelers, Bengals and Browns for the last 20 years. The Texans, Jags, and Titans twice a year?? Oh the horror! 12 games against the NFC, nine of which in a neutral site, three of which on the road, three whole losses. 

Father Time doesn't lose often. He's been running up the scoreboard on humanity for millennia now. Then Tom Brady showed up and started bashing his teeth into his skull. I really can't believe how easy it was to strut over to the NFC and make as many Super Bowls as Rodgers and Brees in his first crack at it. Tampa Bay had a loaded receiving corp, no question, but this was far from a given. But, apparently winning the NFC isn't as hard as it was made out to be all these years. Who'da thunk!

That Steph Curry stat is floating around a lot and personally I think it stinks. Mostly because it's wrong. Tom isn't 10 for 21. Why the fuck would his rookie year where he was fourth on the depth chart be on his record? Why would the season his knee exploded on the second play count? No fucking shit he didn't make the Super Bowl either of those years. When Tom Brady actually plays football he's gone to the Super Bowl 10 out of 19 times. If there's an NFL season and Tom Brady plays more than a quarter of a single game there's a better than 50% chance he's going to the Super Bowl. And then there's a better than 50% chance he's going to win that Super Bowl. We're talking all time dominance here if you really need to come up with ways to discredit and discount that I don't know what to tell you. 

21 franchises have had decades upon decades to win a couple here, a couple there, tear down, rebuild, scout from coast to coast, compile their best 53-man roster year-in, year-out, and Tom Brady doesn't seem to give a shit. 

Honestly surprised this number wasn't a little higher. Don't get me wrong, 34 different receivers is a fuck ton of receivers but over 20 years I figured this number would be a smidge higher. Of course he's had staple receivers like Edelman, Welker, Branch, David Givens, Gronk, Troy Brown but the amount of Reche Caldwells and Doug Gabriels and Mike Vrabels Belichick has put out there, not to mention Mike Evans, Chris Godwin and company being brand sparkling new this season, I don't know. I just expected it to be higher. Still cool, I guess. 

I've started my writing with this stat. I write this blog by accumulating every stat first then going back and adding commentary. And while this one may be the most simplistic, seeing as it's only his record, I think it's the most laugh out loud funny after you really look at it for a couple of minutes. For years I've ruthlessly mocked Peyton "Captain 1-and-Done" Manning because of his failings in the playoffs. But the truth is he really did have a hell of a run. 14 playoff wins, two rings, that's an incredible career no matter how you want to slice it. Especially in a vacuum. Only when you juxtapose 14-13 with two rings to 33-11with SIX rings does it look like absolute dog shit. It's not that Manning or Rodgers or Brees are bad. Quite the contrary. That's just how much more dominant Brady's run has been. Think of how much those guys would have eaten if Brady went undrafted and worked at Deloitte for the past 20 years? He's a bully, that's all there is to it. 

At worst in two weeks time he'll be 33-12, and people will try and clown on his 6-4 record in Super Bowls alone. If that's how you want to live your life, be my guest. It's a free country, you can live your life however you'd like.