CHINESE BILLIONAIRE JACK MA IS ALIVE

Did Barstool do it again or did Barstool do it again? He's been missing for MONTHS with no statement at all. No concrete theories on his whereabouts. Just a public dispute with the government and he disappeared. Mainstream media did nothing. The UN did nothing. Barstool finally said enough was enough and we pressured

First came Tinfoil Tuesday

Then I was dissatisfied that people didn't seem to care and the blog got 100k+ views from you, the stoolies

Then finally, to turn the heat up to 800 degree F, KFC did a one minute man

And under a full on pirate ship assault…Jack Ma has been rescued. What did his statement actually say? I don't know. I don't speak Chinese. Something about reemerging after Covid-19. Which…sounds like bullshit. He was very public all during the pandemic doing TV and media appearances. Then all of a sudden in October after his IPO is canceled he decides he can't do coronavirus anymore? Hmmmm….

The CCP probably trotted him out of his cell, let him take a cold shower, told him what to say, and threw him immediately back in his reeducation camp prison cell. Either way, I am just glad he's alive and that Barstool obviously saved him. 

Or…they just found a body double