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Sometimes The Onion Just Nails It

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OXNARD, CA — According to sources inside the Dallas Cowboys training staff, quarterback Tony Romo returned to the practice field Thursday for the first time since undergoing surgery to remove a painful ovarian cyst. “Tony appears to have responded well to the procedure, and given the rate at which his ovarian cyst was growing, I’m glad we got in there when we did,” said Dr. Peter Baskin, who removed the four inch fluid-filled sac after the signal-caller reported constant abdominal discomfort during voluntary OTA’s. “If we had waited any longer, it very well could have spread to his uterus. Hopefully Tony can still have children.” Baskin told reporters that there will most likely be some scarring along the fallopian tubes, but Romo’s range of motion should remained unaffected.

Glad to hear he’s gonna make it. Although I don’t think he’s recovered from when Brian Dawkins tore his Hymen.

PS – I actually respect and kind of like Tony Romo. Dude is tough as nails. If he played his entire career in Philly he would go down as a legend, SB win or not.

PPS – Did I just copy and paste an entire Onion article and use it as a blog? Your Goddamn right I did. Tis Friday and it’s my non-violent protest to Nantucket Living.