While You Were Sleeping: The British Open Round 1 So Far
Happy British Open Day!
I did it. I dragged Sleeping Trent out of bed at 3 am and watched the opening of the 144th British Open. It was a little rough to start because waking up in the middle of the night is a stupid thing to do but it felt right. Once I mainlined two cups of coffee and cranked the AC in my apartment I was good to go. The bagpipes, the aerial shots of beautiful St. Andrews and Scott Van Pelt’s voice helped a lot. Oreos helped a lot too.
Here’s what you need to know so far if you were smart and got a full 8 hours
Tiger put it in the water on the first hole
And it only got worse from there. Like a lot worse. Tiger was the only player to bogey the first two holes (which were, for professional golfers, pretty damn easy holes). On a course where people were making birdies left and right Tiger played like absolute shit. Everything was off. Everything. Iron play sucked. Putting sucked. Attitude sucked. He pretty much gave up after 12 holes. Completely checked out and wanted it to be over. I’d be lying if I said Tiger wasn’t the reason I woke up at 3am to watch golf. That’s just me being an idiot. Absolutely brutal. He was tied for last throughout parts of the round. I don’t even know what we’re watching anymore. Bad. Really really bad.
Nailed it
Tiger’s current scorecard
“Why is Jordan Spieth playing in the John Deere Classic? Wahhhhhhhhhhh. He’s not gonna be ready for the British Open, a tournament that actually matters. Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
Spieth shut those people up, huh? He (and Dustin Johnson, we’ll get to him) made it worth interrupting my REM cycle to watch golf at 3am. The guy is incredible. That’s the only way to describe it. It’s like pressure doesn’t exist to him and that’s the highest compliment you can give a 21 year old golfer. He won the first two majors of the year, he won at the John Deere, expectations are through the roof and he comes out FIRING with a 31 on the front. He’s been the Bizarro Tiger so far (minus the blemish on #13) which feels weird to say but it’s the truth in this case. Everything has worked and he’s probably the best putter on the planet right now. The back 9 wasn’t as sharp but he nicely got out of a couple jams. This is gonna be so much fun.
Spieth’s current scorecard
David Lingmerth randomly came out scorching hot early and shot a 29 on the front 9 (tying the course record) and took the early tournament lead.
Then the wheels fell off and the car burst into flames, killing innocent bystanders
Dustin Johnson playing GREAT golf so far at St. Andrews. He’s so long that he’s pretty much been overpowering the course in a way only he can. The Old Course becomes a lot easier when you can fly the most dangerous bunkers. He made the tournament’s first eagle on #5. I think DJ literally forgot what happened at Chambers Bay. I’m not even kidding. There’s something to be said for an athlete who isn’t………as intellectual as others. DJ fits into that category. Choked away the U.S. Open? Doesn’t bother him. He might not even remember. Good for him. Especially considering The Open paired him with Spieth which seemed like cruel and unusual punishment,
DJ’s current scorecard
“Sup ladies? Just getting ready for my round. Whoops you’re pregnant”
Of all the things going on at The Open I’m most curious about what bar Open officials had to drag Daly/Jimenez/Dufner out of so they’d make their tee time.
Bubba wore stupid sunglasses because he’s stupid (Watson is -1 for the tournament so far
Here’s the current leaderboard
That’s where stand as of now.