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Pardon My Take's Football Guys of the Week Nominees - Week 18

Billy Football
Billy Football1/11/2021 6:52 PM

Football Guy of the Week lets rip it

Sean Payton has always shown that he has a win at all cost mentality. Machiavellianism is a core principle of the football guy psyche. The ends justify the means, Sean Payton served his time for Bountygate but he has a Superbowl ring which is way more than other coaches can show for. Though Big Cat and PFT have been saying this idea for weeks, Sean Payton most definitely came up with this unique idea to gain his team a competitive advantage with fans. He knows the impact “Who Dat” nation has and is more than willing to use all of his abilities to use it. He also was slimed recently. 

Jared Veldheer had a great 9-year career in the NFL, but like all things, an NFL career ends... But football never stops. Jared was coaching the Offensive line at a Michigan high school because true football guys can never stay away from football and coupled with the work ethic he had to get him to the NFL, he always stayed ready. He was always working out and staying in shape because he had an itch to return earlier in the offseason, and that is why he is a nominee. 

"Hobbies? Fuck em I play Football. Covid? Fuck that only Lack of football will kill me." Ultimate Football guys without football are just guys and football guys rather die than just being guys. Danny Smith is the special teams' coordinator on the Steelers and he has quite a long resume of quotes that are worth a google If you have the time. 

This mentality only applies to three groups, Kamikaze pilots, Jihadists, and football guys. This is the definition of leaving it all out on the field. If you die on the field that means you 100% literally left it (life) out on the field. He is a senior TE and does a lot of the "dirty work" on the Ohio State offense, with that role you have to be strapped with a badass mentality. He is also a senior who may be concerned about his draft status and dying on the field is a better alternative than life after football. 

A man by the name of Tyler Blomdahl, a Wisconsin native, posted a video after his last chemotherapy treatment wearing an Aaron Rodgers jersey, rang the celebratory end of treatment bell, and ripped a 7.9 sec shotgun time which is an amazing time coming back from injury. This is also a way faster time than Aaron Rodger's courtside chug time. This type of triumphant and perseverance through major adversity (while then voluntarily using extra energy and drive to complete a celebratory task) is a huge football guy move. It is basically the equivalent of Tyreek Hill running 100 yards breaking multiple tackles and doing a flip on the goal-line, completely unnecessary and energy-consuming but gives a big "FUCK YOU" to the other team (This time the other team being Cancer) (Fuck Cancer).

This isn't the first time Mike Vrabel has put his body on the line as a coach to win football games. He famously once said he would cut his phallus off if it meant he could win a Superbowl. This is not surprising by any means. Total football guy move to let your team know you are willing to lay it out there and fight just as hard as they are about to. Extremely Machiavellian approach.

For voting, we are going to ween it down to 4 so Mike Vrabel lost this weekend and Sean Payton stole the idea from PMT.

1. Jared Veldheer missed football while coaching football

2. Tyler Blohmdale the guy who beat cancer and shotgunned a beer in celebration 

3. Luke Farrell ready to die

4. Danny Smith lack of football will kill him before COVID


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Billy Football
Billy Football1/11/2021 6:52 PM