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This Great White Shark Stuck On A Chatham Beach Is An Idiot Pussy

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HA! That’s the fucking thing I’m supposed to be scared? That’s what people freak out over whenever there’s a sighting off the Cape? Please. That little guppie would eat one finger then be too full to do anything else. That ain’t no bad fish. That thing couldn’t swallow me whole. Fuck a bigger boat, I could take a sunfish out and reel that little tommycod in. Stupid thing isn’t even smart enough to know that he can’t walk or breathe and I’m supposed to be scared? Yeah right.

 

I will say this though, as much shit as I just talked there’s no reason to put that thing back in the water. Why are people trying to rescue it? Let it be. If I go in the water and a shark eats me, that’s my fault. I got myself into that mess. Some shark rolls up on the beach for a beer and some sun then suffocates because he can’t breathe? That’s on him. You want to try and eat people on their own turf then suffer the consequences.