Mike McCarthy Fucks The Cowboys Once Again And Its Gonna Be A LONG Off Season

Think about this. The NFC East Champion for this season may very well have six wins. And it will NOT be the Dallas Cowboys.

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Welp, all that hope was for a whole lot of nothing. I miss the December 2020 Cowboys. And now it’s on to offseason moves and staring longingly at Sewell like the giant slab of meat he actually will be for the next 15 years, anchoring an offensive line at All Pro levels. 

But before we put this dumpster fire of a season to bed once and for all, can we just take a second to debrief on how Mike McCarthy single handedly lost the Cowboys that defacto elimination game?? 

What. The. Fuck. Was. He. Thinking? 

Now, I’m no Skip Bayless stan or anything, but in case you weren’t watching this pillow fight, I’d say he summed up what happened perfectly. 

Mikey Mac told ESPN’s Todd Archer:

“Just felt it was too close. Felt it was a bang-bang situation and the fact of the matter is we were in a tight game and the three timeouts was obviously of high value there. We just didn’t think there was enough information to overturn it.”

WUT.

WHO IS WE? EVERYONE ON THE PLANET wanted you to challenge that catch. EVERYONE. Even GIANTS fans were like, fuuucccckkkkkkkkkk. There is no we, Mikey Mac, it is you that is to blame for this disastrous blunder. 

You know what I think? I think he didn’t challenge the call because he wanted to cover up for stupidly not going for two earlier in the game when literally every high school football coach who has ever had internet access knows YOU GO FOR TWO in those situations.

I mean, I was starting to get on the Mike McCarthy isn’t THAT bad train and just when his giggly watermelon pounding ass starts to grow on me, he pulls the kind of shit that Green Bay fans are STILL yelling about two plus years later. 

Anyway… The good news is that the Cowboys are now 3rd in the NFC East and will have a top 10 draft pick. All's well that ends well I guess. 

Let’s go out and make some moves. 

First up, go sign Dak Prescott. Why? This is why:

Are you fucking kidding me? IT WAS 3RD DOWN ANDY. STILL ONE DOWN TO GO. Even taking one of your patented “hold on to the ball inexplicably for WAY too long” sacks was infinitely better than whatever THAT was. 

Fuck it. I’ll get into what the Cowboys need to do tomorrow. Enough of this.

I’ve got a pillow to go cry into.

Fuck the Giants. Fuck the Eagles. Fuck the WFT. 

And FUCK this season. 

Dallas Cowboys 2022 Super Bowl Champions! BOOK IT.