The Cowboys Beat The Niners And Are Now The Hottest Team In the NFC East!

Well, that was a (pleasant) surprise. I had a FEELING this team could beat the trash ass 5-8 Niners but definitely did not anticipate it happening like this. 

See below for receipts: 

“I think this game will actually be entertaining and I believe the Cowboys can actually win. Do you have ANY idea what it feels like to write that after this fucking horrible season?”

And I hate to admit this. I can feel it growing deep inside. Can’t stop it. 


GROSS. For such an incredibly shitty season, it seems impossible at this point with the Cowboys having only five wins, that I am thinking playoffs. But here we are. 

Forgive me for pivoting but a wise man once said it best: “sports are fluid. Much like life”. 

This is very much a developing situation. The part that has me in the Christmas spirit and open to any and all wins moving forward is not the fact that the Cowboys won. Dallas has won games before and looked like dog shit. Today was not that day. 

This team ACTUALLY balled out (kinda). 

Tony Pollard is looking VERY much like a number 1 back and Zeke appears to be (right now) just a fumbling man with a bum calf on the outside looking in. Pollard had over 150 total yards and 2TDs against a defense that even without Bosa, has had a decent running defense. Plus, he kept his hands on the football. CD of course was elite, even though he probably should have taken a knee after recovering that that onside kick at the end of the game. 

The defense clicked in multiple ways with Anthony Brown, Donovan Wilson, Neville Gallimore, Chido Awuzie, AND Tank Lawrence ALL having big time plays that made an impact. Sacks, strip fumbles and interceptions OH MY. That being said, they still managed to give up 33 points to the 49ers back up squad, including somehow, someway allowing a hail mary at the end of the game.

Leave it to the Cowboys can win and still leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Instead of a pillow fight between two drunk, washed chicks, like I anticipated, this game turned into a pillow fight between two only PARTIALLY washed chicks. It was kind of like when everyone saw Carmen Electra during the Last Dance and were like, woah. I expected her to look a hell of a lot worse. A bit of a win, if you ask me. It wasn’t Aikman vs Young, but it was better than almost anything we’ve seen out of the Cowboys this year.

Next Sunday is the Eagles, which should be a game this “surging” Cowboys team should win. Which means they’ll probably lose and I’ll be sad all over again. 

4:25, America's game, America’s team, be there or be square.