The New York Stock Exchange Just Shut Down EVERYBODY PANIC

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CNBC – Trading in all symbols was temporarily halted on the New York Stock Exchange floor Wednesday due to an apparent technical issue.

“NYSE/NYSE MKT has temporarily suspended trading in all symbols. Additional information will follow as soon as possible,” the NYSE said in a statement on its status page.

The exchange was investigating the issue that caused the halt, Reuters reported, citing a source. Trading stopped around 11:30 a.m. ET.

Trading in all symbols was temporarily halted on the New York Stock Exchange floor Wednesday due to an apparent technical issue.

“NYSE/NYSE MKT has temporarily suspended trading in all symbols. Additional information will follow as soon as possible,” the NYSE said in a statement on its status page.

 

Well this is it folks, the end of the road. Once the money stops flowing around it’s only minutes before there’s blood in the streets, burning buildings, maybe some zombie invasion. Pray for the poor stock brokers and traders out there struggling to feed their families, hand to mouth, unable to talk for who knows how long about how they’re “crushing it.” But I can’t be surprised. We’re always one second of incompetence away from the world as we know it coming to an end. Think about all the idiots you’ve worked with in your life. Do you think they don’t exist in other areas just because a place is the most singular important driver of money in our country? They’re at the NYSE just as much as they’re at the McDonald’s or a Walmart. And if a technologically sound company like Barstool can go down in the course of business hours with no end in sight, of course the stock exchange can. Bunch of chimps running things there. Do they even sell barely fair use t-shirts there?

 

On the plus side this is probably the best Pres’s Twitter stock has looked in months. Between that and the futures commodities in Spikeball sales, everything’s coming up Pageviews per usual.

 

(Wall Street photo by Shutterstock)