Ronaldo Found A Smokeshow's Phone In Vegas, Returned It Then Had An Orgy With Her And Her Friends (Probably)

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 10.07.28 AM

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 10.07.33 AM

 

 

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 10.18.49 AM

 

 

 

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 10.09.11 AMScreen Shot 2015-07-07 at 10.08.57 AM

Screen Shot 2015-07-07 at 10.10.15 AM

 

 

 

 

Fucking Ronaldo. Some guys have all the luck. If I found a phone in Vegas it would undoubtedly belong to a bookie or some fucking mobster who would track me down an murder me. But Cristiano? Nah, he finds some smokeshow blonde’s phone. Unlocked, probably chock full of nudes, and takes her and all her smoke friends out to dinner then has a fivesome so they can all have that crazy college story about the international superstar they slept with in Vegas. Completely, completely unfair. When it comes to chicks, Ronaldo is an extremely wealthy dude who can get whatever he wants yet he sits down in a restaurant and gets comped his steak dinner. Meanwhile I’m dirt poor fist-fighting a cat in the back alley for some scraps. And that cat is kicking the shit out of me. Life, man, it fucking sucks.