Russell Wilson Is Not Having Sex With His Girlfriend Ciara Because God Told Him To Do Things The "Jesus Way"
(Source) Ciara‘s boyfriend, Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson, dropped some fairly unexpected news during a seemingly innocuous Q&A with San Diego pastor Miles McPherson on Sunday (July 5): It turns out that the couple, who have been dating since late April, are practicing abstinence for religious reasons.
“She was on tour, and I was looking at her in the mirror, and God spoke to me,” Wilson told the pastor. “He said, ‘I need you to lead her.’ “I told her, ‘What would you do if we took all that “extra stuff” off the table, and just did it Jesus’ way?'” the quarterback continued, clarifying that yes, he was “talking about sex.”
Wilson said the 29-year-old singer “completely agreed,” though he admitted that refraining from sex wasn’t easy. “I ain’t gonna lie to y’all now — I need you to pray for us,” he told the congregation. “I know y’all have seen her on the screen. If there’s a 10, she’s a 15.”
Well I guess that settles that. If you were ever wondering what the emotional and mental fallout of throwing a last second interception in the Super Bowl was, now you know. Like I knew Russell Wilson was very religious, believe me he tells us EVERY chance he gets.
But to get a “message from God” while you’re on a random tour bus saying don’t put your penis into your girlfriend’s vagina, yeah that’s when you know you’re probably still rattled from that one poor decision back in February. I mean wasn’t Russell Wilson already married? And I assume he had sex right? So it’s not like he’s even a virgin. He’s just telling his blazing hot girlfriend he doesn’t want to have sex and wants to do things the “Jesus Way”. And when he gets horny he’s hoping the world will pray for him and make him not want to fuck? Okkkkk, whatever you say Russ. I’m sure this won’t get you shit in the locker room either, professional athletes will totally understand you dating a chick and doing things the Jesus Way and hoping people will pray away your cum. Yikes.
PS
How about Russ Wilson calling sex the “extra stuff”
‘What would you do if we took all that “extra stuff” off the table, and just did it Jesus’ way?
Dude, sex is the main stuff, that’s the whole thing about dating someone, you get to have sex on the reg. The “extra stuff” is going to dinners with her friends and not being able to watch sports every night and trying to mask when you take a huge shit and going shopping for hours at a time. That’s the extra stuff, not sex. So backwards. Between Russ and JJ Watt my job to convince the world that not everyone who went to the University of Wisconsin is a huge loser just got significantly more difficult.