When The World's Sexiest Woman Gives Life Advice, You Shut Up And Listen

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For decades if you asked people who they thought the sexiest woman on earth was, the vast majority would have said Sophia Loren. There just wasn't another sultry, curvaceous woman with just the right amount of exotic flare quite like her. 

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Of course, anyone can be beautiful for a short time, but in order to stick around you have to make a name for yourself outside of just your looks. In the case of Loren, not only could the woman act, but she had a mouth on her that she held back for no one. 

Not even for women who wanted to put their tits on a plate for her. 

(Entertainment Weekly) "She [Jayne Mansfield] came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down. And now, she was barely… Listen. Look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I’m so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table."

Now that's a woman! And when that woman grows up to be a strong and still sexy 86-years-old and is dishing out 6 pieces of major life advice, you shut the fuck up and listen. (For the record, this is coming to us straight outta AARP Magazine. Lol, I can't say I ever thought I'd be reading AARP Magazine this early on in life, but I'm not complaining either. Although, I'm definitely not looking forward to all the denture ads that will surely start popping up thanks to my quick site visit.) 

Life lesson #1- Be your own cheerleader
"When I look in the mirror, I cheer for myself. I don't ask, ‘Are you great?’ or ‘Are you beautiful?’ No! It's how I feel inside, how secure I am, how happy I am. That's what matters."

Be your own cheerleader. I dig it. I would say it's probably a lot easier to look in the mirror and cheer yourself on when the reflection looks like this: 

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But even if you're not stunning, you should still cheer your ugly ass on -  if you don't do it, no one will! 

Life Lesson #2 - Call your grandkids
"My two sons each have two kids, but I'm far away [in Geneva, Switzerland], so we talk on the phone, send pictures. I just try to have that moment of happiness during this pandemic, as we all wait for a better tomorrow."

This doesn't really apply to most of us, but yeah, call your grandkids if you got em. And if you're lucky enough to still have an awesome grandma to talk to, give her a buzz and ask her if she dreamed of being Sophia Loren the way kids my generation dreamed of being Kelly Kapowski. Or just call her to tell her you love her and are grateful millions of men didn't look at pictures of her half naked body and think dirty thoughts of her for decades. 

John Springer Collection. Getty Images.

Life Lesson #3- Be a lush
"When I come to the living room, I look down at the table and see chocolates, and two or three of them disappear every day. This I should stop, but I do it anyway."

If you're diabetic, don't do this, but if you're not, still probably don't do this. This is what you call bad advice. 

Then again, the world's oldest living person claims to eat bacon every day, "all day long" so what the fuck do I know? Don't listen to me, I'm an idiot. 

Life Lesson #4- Don't worry, breathe happy
"If you are healthy and doing something you enjoy, then you cannot think, ‘God, tomorrow I'm going to die!’ No! You can do many wonderful things. I work, read, watch movies, go to church. And I breathe a lot.”

John Springer Collection. Getty Images.

I don't know how much breathing she was doing in that corset, but apparently it was enough for her to not worry about unnecessary things. So do something you enjoy, breathe, and don't worry about dying because you're going to die anyway, why waste time worrying about it. 

Life Lesson #5 - Love yourself
"Why change your body and be somebody else if you are happy inside? I never thought of that — never. I like what I have. I like me!"

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Yup. Checks out. 

Life Lesson #6- You can't get over death, you just have to accept it
"I was very sad when my husband died, because you can never get over this kind of feeling. Never. Each time you think about it, there's a moment of the loneliness, which is very strong, but that's life."

Gilbert TOURTE. Getty Images.

There you have it. There's no secret to getting over death, you just deal with it. 

On a separate note, their relationship should give every single person out there hope. You can be the sexiest woman in the entire world and still end up with a short, husky, bald man and not care because you're madly in love with him. And you can be a short, husky, bald man and still end up with the sexiest woman in the world because of your personality.

Isn't life grand!