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Andy Dalton’s Covid and Concussed Ass Still Managed To Beat The Vikings

They say in an even game, especially between two trash teams (like these two), the one who wins the turnover battle will win the game. 

That’s pretty much the best way to describe what was improbably a fun and interesting win for the Boys against, admittedly, a team well known for choking. Dallas somehow suffered only one Dalton interception, while Cook and Cousins both fumbled. Amazingly, the Cowboys for the first time this year had fewer turnovers, and the ten points they scored off the TOs was clearly the difference in the game.

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Of course they didn’t win because of the defense, which even though the D-line put some welcome pressure on Cousins, still showed gaping holes. MASSIVE holes. The secondary is still, as usual, trash. Thielen and Jefferson both carved up Dallas to the tune of 11 catches and 209 yards and 3 TDs. When you add in Cook’s 115, it’s kind of amazing they were even in this game, let alone won it. 

Dallas also didn’t win due to the offense, which although efficient, still had problems. I am VERY happy though that Dallas FINALLY moved Zach Martin to right tackle and benched Terence Steele; it made ALL the difference in the world and this team could have won a ton more games if this move happened faster.  

I digress.

Having overcome covid AND a concussion, Andy Dalton was OK… 203 yards and 3 TDs against a banged up Vikings D along with Zeke running for a hundo. But this was a game Dallas should have put away in the first half, and once again, their inability to capitalize made for a VERY interesting last two minutes. CeeDee Lamb even had a highlight reel catch, so you should DEFINITELY go grab you a shirt.

The stars of the game were LVE, who registered a dozen tackles including four solos, and Donovan fucking Wilson who seemed to be everywhere murking fools. Zuerlein missed yet ANOTHER extra point which would have put Dallas up by 4 at the end of the game instead of just 3, so kicking is an issue that hasn’t been fixed. 

I swear, nothing comes easy with this squad. Even when it should. 

EVERYONE knows I want this team to #TankForPenei. However, I won’t lie. It did feel good to win again, even against a shitty team like the Minnesota Vikings. And don’t look now, but everyone in the trash vomit East now has three wins. Most of me hopes they don’t try to make the playoffs, but I’d be a liar if I said any win like this doesn’t get me thinking. If Dalton can keep from making huge mistakes, if we can feed Zeke, if the defense can miraculously fill MAJOR holes, and Zuerlein can STOP MISSING FUCKING KICKS … well, you get the picture. You probably do the same thing any time your shitty team wins a game, too. 

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But then I remember the Dallas Cowboys have three wins heading into fucking Thanksgiving, so even if they’re in first place, it won’t matter.

See? Sometimes a little cold water helps you to see things clearly. This team has far too many holes to make a real playoff push.

On to Washington on Thanksgiving. That should be a perfect shitfest to have on in the background as your drunk aunt makes an ass of herself or perhaps as you sit alone in your apartment with a Thanksgiving DoorDash avoiding COVID like the plague. Maybe we’ll get a Nickelback halftime show to distract us from what will certainly be the nastiest thing you’ll see all day.  

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Wouldn’t that be something.