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Mayor Apologizes for the Whole 'Decorating the Town with Christmas Lights That Look Like Big, Glowing Dicks' Thing

Source - A HAPLESS Mayor has apologised for covering his Belgian town in 90 huge penis-shaped Christmas lights.

Anthony Dumarey admitted he didn't know the bright white column lights with bulbous blue tips looked like phalluses "until they were switched on".

The red-faced bureaucrat quickly tried to fob off blame for the saucy lights, pinning the botch-up on council staff.

They'd been roped in to design them on the cheap as part of cost-cutting efforts.

All 90 X-rated decorations were revealed during switch-ons in the municipality of Oudenburg in the Belgian province of West Flanders, and several local boroughs. ...

The Mayor noted ... "Our technical department designed them. 

"If we had bought them, it would have cost us around three times as much. 

"So we chose the city’s colours and put a blue tip on top because we thought a [candle] flame was cliche.” ...

“Of course, it was not our intention to install Christmas lights that remind people of a penis."

I don't see any reason for Mayor Dumarey to apologize. This could've happened to anyone. After all it's not like phallic symbols are a common shape that anyone ever associates anything with. Sure, Freud declared that the Phallic Stage is one of the five that is an integral part of human development. And that people see penises in everything from buildings to vehicles, food to guns, rockets to even flames. But he grew up in Vienna, which has to be like a thousand miles from Oudenburg. So how would his wacky ideas have made it all the way across Europe like that?

It's not reasonable to assume that anyone would imagine a straight round shaft with a blue dome on top and think anything but "Christmas." Especially when they were operating on a tight budget. Looking at these ought to make anyone feel all holly jolly and festive, not remind them of erect dongs. It takes a real depraved mind to see this display and see anything but the a symbol of the most wonderful time of the year. 

But that said, if the people of Oudenberg insist on seeing wangs where a holiday light display should be, I say just go with it. Make it a theme. Go full TV-MA. Become known as XXXmas Village. Dick the halls. Jingle balls. Stuffing stockings. Piece on Earth. Santa sliding down the chimney shaft. Cumming once a year. With ho-ho-hoes. "Tits a Wonderful Life." Don't run from it. Lean into it and make your proud city the tourist destination for people horny for the holidays, but not horny enough to spend it in the red light district in Amsterdam. In a way, the cash Mayor McSleeze here blew on these twinkling dildos might end up being the best investment his town ever made.