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St. Olaf College Advises Students To "Stop Kissing" While Having Sex To Avoid Spreading COVID

(SOURCE

St. Olaf College encouraged students to “avoid kissing” while having sex to reduce spreading coronavirus, according to a photo provided to The Daily Caller News Foundation.

The Minnesota college’s flyer also urged students to “wear a mask,” “steer clear of partners with symptoms of COVID-19,” “reduce your number of sexual partners” and “use barrier protection like internal/external condoms, as well as dental dams,” according to the picture provided to the DCNF. The flyer also reportedly listed various “sex hygiene” recommendations.

First off... what the fuck is a dental dam?

Giphy Images.

Sounds pretty gross to be honest. Never heard of it other than when Kenny Powers recommended Tracy use one in Eastbound and Down.

Now that we're on the subject, I have another confession to make. Are we in the trust tree? Yes? Good. 

I have seen every episode of Seinfeld no less than 100x in my life, and I still don't know what the fuck a sponge is either. I mean I know that they're used to scrub food off plates in the sink, but as a contraceptive? Don't know what the fuck they are. Never seen them, never used one, and I'm pretty sure they're just a wives tale or a euphemism for something. As far as I'm concerned, the only contraceptive out there is that little pill you get at Walgreens. And maybe a trip to the shmishmorshin clinic if it gets to that. That's neither here nor there though, I'm just thinking out loud right now.

ANYWAYS - back to the article at hand. No kissing? Sold. The worst part of hooking up is the obligatory makeout sesh that last 2-4 mins after you convince her to get into your bed. Like you're just sitting there in a bed and sticking your gross ass tongues down each others' throats for 2 mins when both of you know what's about to happen. Just a silly little tradition humans have and I'm going to tip my cap to St. Olaf for finally taking a stance against it. I mean it's not fun. It doesn't get anyone off. It obviously can spread viruses. Just get both parties straight to the fornication - that's all either want, and it's not like sex can spread viruses anyways. 

We're in a crazy time right now, people. Corona is running rampant. Mayor Lightfoot said that 1 in 18 Chicagoans have COVID as we speak:

So do your part in stoping the spread. Stop kissing. We want to pack Sox Park to the brim next year.