My Sunday Scaries: How Nightmares are Born


So, I woke up and realized I have to play Frank the tank in Jenga today. Needless to say, after last week's antics I'm pretty freaked out. 


How do you respond to this? This man cannot be intimidated nor shook. He's throwing spells like a level 99 Warlock. He's going to sing at us. He says he's been planning new material specifically for his next opponent. He's building a deluxe condominium inside my head. This man has been game planning for me all weekend. I am genuinely terrified. No amount of pregame bicep curls are going to throw this man off his rhythm. Adding mass does not faze him; he is mass.

I don't know if I should bring a Bible and holy water or a silver bullet to try and even the playing field.

I'm telling you to tune in because who knows what Frank's going to bring into the Stool Streams Stadium at 1pm. I don't know what my Fight or Flight response is going to look like once I'm in the arena. 

Every Goliath has his weakness, every Achilles has his heel, I think I might have an ace up my sleeve for The Tank.

(real quick just want to make sure everyone knows I am extremely grateful for my job and this complaining is satire and many people have it a lot worse in these times and these Sunday Scaries are some of the best you can have - pls donate blood there's a national blood shortage)