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Thankfully, The “Naughty in N'awlins” Swingers Convention Will Be Going Off As Scheduled No Matter What

(NOLA) - About 250 swingers are in New Orleans this weekend for the “Naughty in N'awlins” convention as state and local officials sounded another round of alarm bells Friday, warning of increased spread of coronavirus.

“Naughty in N'awlins” Organizer Bob Hannaford said the swingers' sojourn in New Orleans was initially scheduled for the summer but was postponed because of the pandemic. Attendance is down from 2,000 people last year to about 250.

“While the scheduled events do not require a special event permit from the city, the Department of Safety and Permits reviewed COVID-19 restrictions and safety protocols with the event organizers and expects full compliance from the approximately 250 attendees,” the spokesman said.

Hannaford said attendees will wear wristbands to identify people who’ve recently had COVID-19 and people who’ve recently received negative test results, who together make up more than half of the event’s attendees.

On Friday the Louisiana Dept. of Health reported the largest one-day total in new coronavirus cases since August.

This year has been nothing but bad news followed by worse news, cancelations for events large and small across the globe. I don't know how we, as a society, could have survived if the Naughty in N'awlins swingers convention skipped a year. I don't care if we saw the United States set world records four days in a row for new COVID cases. Last I checked this was still America. And there's nothing more American than staring God in the face and telling him you don't care how bad of an idea it is to travel to the Bayou for a 250 person swingers convention where only half have been tested, you will not relent. You will never back down. You will never log off. 

In fact, I'd go as far to say that the 1,750 cowards who attended last year but don't have the stones to make a return pilgrimage this year should face lifetime bans. Because the thing about swingers is that swinging is their life. They have buttons in every room of their house that they can push where sultry jazz music starts playing while velvet-lined beds fall out of the walls and flip out of bookcases like a vampire's lair. Unimaginable construction costs and permit-pulls just to live their lives the way they see fit. It's an unrivaled lifestyle dedication. So to see something as small as the greatest pandemic any of us have ever experienced stand in the way of the Swingers Super Bowl known as the Naughty in N'awlins convention? Well that doesn't sit right with my soul. It unsettles the spirit. You have to really question how committed to the swing those 1,750 are in the face of such minor adversity. Because those brave and noble 250 that are barely getting tested, and even those who do get tested and are receiving positive results but are still making their voyage, you can never question their commitment to the game. Not today, not ever.