LATROBE, Pa. — A Pennsylvania brewery is raising a glass to Joe Paterno. The Duquesne Brewing Company said Monday it’s rolling out a brew honoring the late Penn State football coach. The Vienna-style lager, which will be available in mid-August, will come in 12-ounce cans featuring Paterno’s image and accomplishments.
The perfect, smooth beer for sitting back, relaxing, and allowing a child abuser to thrive right under your nose for over a decade.
Having a beer named in your honor is the closest thing to being knighted in America. And the people at Duquesne Brewing are certified geniuses for tapping into the batshit Penn State cult market. This could just be bottled goat piss and it will still fly off the shelves in Central PA. Still, I’d knock back a few of Joe Pa’s finest…if it’s actually good. You can’t judge a book or a beer by its cover. I’ll gladly put down Hitler’s Bohemian Style Blitzkriegs down the hatch if it were delicious. A buzz is a buzz is a buzz. However, I am very pro taking a beer into the shower. Gonna take a pass with this one.
PS – Not to get off topic, but again, Penn State nutshits, I am aware JoePa legally did everything he was required to do in the Sandusky scandal. However, if you think Lord Paterno couldn’t have done more in that situation FROM THE START then you’re either wrong or an asshole. In most cases, both.
PPS – I’ve been seeing The Chive beer more and more on tap and selling in 6-packs. Glad to see some companies are investing profits in positive places other than gambling losses and future glue.