The Former Patriots Team Chaplain Who Took Over the Texans is Purging the Whole Organization

This is Jack Easterby. Formerly with the New England Patriots as their "Character Coach/Team Development," he was described in a glowing profile on the team's official site as being "on almost every Patriot's Favorite-Person-They've-Ever-Met List." Essentially he was a counselor and the chaplain who led team prayers and so on.

That is, before he quit last year. And while some in the organization believed it was because he wanted input into personnel decisions and aspired to actually be a G.M. but realized Bill Belichick would give him zero power and will be making all the decisions until Rapture, someone leaked to the press that Easterby left on moral grounds. Because as a man of God, he was shocked and appalled that his boss got serviced in an Asian Day Spa. So he joined his good friend Bill O'Brien in the Houston Texans front office. Here's his career path, according to their website:

Jack Easterby was named the executive vice president of football operations on January 28, 2020, being promoted to the role after joining the Houston Texans as executive vice president of team development in April 2019. In his role, Easterby manages all football operations and directs the overall culture of the organization.

That is a pretty rapid rise by anyone's standards. Just meteoric. The equivalent of Ryan the Temp getting the job at Dunder-Mifflin Corporate before he ever made a sale. Not to mention the most pretentious and self-serving job description since "Sandwich Artist." But at least the good Subway servers earn it. 

And so it is that this guy has not only parlayed a degree in Sports Management from Newberry College in South Carolina and another from Erskine and Liberty Theological Seminaries into jobs in two different NFL front offices, he's now in complete control of the football ops and the "overall culture" of the Texans. And it took just over a year. 

And as Lord Acton said about power …

Here's the thing. My default setting is to give the benefit of the doubt to religious people. The vast majority of the real devout people I know just see their faith as a way to be grateful for all their blessings and their church as a means to be a force for positive change in a world in need. I also respect ambitious people. It takes a lot of drive, will and effort to be successful in a competitive world. 

What I don't have much use for is very religious, very ambitious people. There may be some good examples, but as a general rule, Biblical teachings and Earthly desires mix together to make a pretty toxic cocktail. Show me someone who quotes scripture and wants power and I'll show you someone on TV bilking sick old people out of their life's savings so they can get into heaven and he can build a water park. You know used his role as a Man of God to rise through the ranks of power? Rasputin. And that priest who did whatever to the Hunchback in that Disney movie no one remembers. The Sparrow from "Game of Thrones is maybe the perfect example. Someone who talked a great game when it came to speaking for the gods, but who really was just another Littlefinger trying to claw his way into power, wealth and orgies filled with all of Westeros' A-listers. 

And so it is with this fraud. He's no sooner sitting behind the big desk than he's calling for a purge. Firing everyone who might stand in his way. From the very men who hired him to the woman who ran the team's award-winning PR department. You know, just like it was in the New Testament. In that part where Jesus storms into the templa and flips over all the money-changers' tables for turning his house of worship into a den of sin. Then He went an fired some of the apostles because he didn't trust them and he didn't like the way they were spreading the word about the awesome job he was doing being the Messiah.

I'll just remind the Texans again, the guy running their organization this way is absolutely, positively, the "many sources" on that infamous ESPN the Magazine story about a "rift" in the organization and Brady, Belichick and Mr. Kraft all at each other's throats. And pretty much any story with anonymous sources that cast the franchise in a bad light. If you need any further proof, notice that there's been no such rumor-mongering since he jumped ship to consolidate power in Houston. His old employers have a very un-religious hatred toward him for a number of other reasons, like the fact he tried to steal Nick Caserio away as soon as he hit town. And sooner or later, you'll find out the hard way you've got a snake running your football operations. And your team culture.