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Life Lessons From Matthew McConaughey: How NOT To Be A Little Bitch About Hangovers

DAX: "I had been dying to ask you this since I think I've been aware of you, which is: man, you have some constitution. Because me - I haven't drank in a long time - I couldn't handle the mornings. I had to drink in the mornings, then it would turn into a three-day thing. And I see you fucking jogging every morning and just was like, you have the consitution I wish I could buy on the shelf." 

If you're reading this and wondering why Dax Sheppard would even ask Matthew McConaughey how he's functional after a night of drinking, you must have the distinct pleasure of being young and unfamiliar with hangovers. Congratulations. Enjoy that luxury while you have it because one day you'll wake up and your world will be flipped upside down after what you didn't even think was a big night of drinking. 

For me, that moment first happened when I was 30 and it has only progressed since then. Now I'm extremely careful and particular about what I drink, but even with all the precautions, I can still feel it the next day: my brain is slower, my body feels like it hasn't rested in days, and my energy levels are way down. Typically I'm pretty sensitive to caffeine, but on these days coffee is virtually useless, so yeah, when I see someone older than me out partying one night and completely active the next morning... 

"A good friend of mine was with you on an island on New Year's Eve, and you guys were having a great, great time. Eventually, you out-paced him and he shut it down around, I think 3 or 4 in the morning, and he could still hear you at the campfire and stuff. He then crawls out of bed at 10 in the morning and turns on the tv to watch the UT game... and ol' Matthew McConaughey is sitting on the fucking sidelines in Austin, Texas!"

And he goes, 'WHAT? How did he time travel? How is he…" And he said you looked amazing, full of energy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and I was like what a constitution!"

… I NEED to know his secret. Because it can't just feel this shitty every time; there has to be a secret! 

MM: "I mean, I never have been one of those people that the proverbial next day goes, 'Oh God, I'm never doing that again.' Well, bullshit, you are too, so hang on a second."

writes down "stop telling yourself you're never doing that again" 

"Also, I check-in the night before, and say, 'Ok what do we got tomorrow morning? What's my situation here now - what do we got tomorrow morning? We don't start till 11? Hey, that pretty easy. Oh, we start at 7? Ok ok, risk-reward here. What are we measuring? Look at the group… what's everyone pouring? Is this night on the way down or we about to switch into third gear and go off?'

And then I gotta, 'Ok.'

And if choose to say ok, the rockets are going to launch here and this could go till sunrise."

Giphy Images.

"I get my mind right there, I'll go head off that night, look in the mirror and go, 'Hey buddy, this is going to suck tomorrow morning. Now we're going to bulldog through this. We're not going to make any excuses - we're gonna get up an hour and a half early, we're gonna go run and sweat this damned thing out and tomorrow's going to be hard… but are you in?' 

And we'll shake on it or not. 

And then the next morning just go, 'Here we go man, ride the baseline.'"

FUCKKKK just when you thought McConaughey couldn't get any cooler, he turns around and tells us to stop making excuses, look ourselves in the eyes, and make the conscious decision to not be a little bitch about a little hangover.

"Sometimes we do need more than 24 hours in a day, but they just haven't been giving more of that last time I checked. So I'm just trying to make the tally."

Giphy Images.