I Am Going to End Smitty in Stool Streams XX

It's Rivalry Week on Stool Streams and I could not be giddier to have the opportunity to absolutely obliterate Smitty. And unfortunately for him, he doesn't get the opportunity to selectively edit anything this time. It's just him and myself, live on air for the world to see.

I've played Smitty in just about every video game imaginable, so it's nice to have him stepping into my arena of cornhole this time. I'm willing to print that there is a zero percent chance he even comes within shouting distance of me. I am one of history's greatest cornhole players and I look forward to proving that against my arch nemesis.

I really haven't been this amped up for anything in a long time. I don't just want to win; I want to make abundantly clear who has the upper hand in any real-life competition in this eternal struggle. I remember everything this man has ever said about me and I plan to harness the energy it fills me with and unleash it on the cornhole board tomorrow.

So please tune in Thursday at 1 p.m. Eastern, because I plan to put on a performance which will be talked about around here for quite some time.