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Moron Twitter CEO Dick Costolo Finally Steps Down….Twitter Stock Sores…Pres Verification Must Be Next


Huge late breaking news. Twitter CEO Dick Costolo is finally stepping down. Twitter stock instantly rose upon the public hearing the annoucement. Giddyup. Giddyup again! This is exactly the type of news a guy who owns a shit ton of Twitter stock in his portfolio and nothing else wanted to hear. This is exactly the type of news a guy with 200K twitter followers but no blue check mark wanted to hear. Make no mistake about this. This is a momentum changer. I’d been getting murdered for 3 weeks in gambling. Padres instantly scored 2 runs in the 11th when this happened.
Anyway since I’m probably the biggest stockholder/twitter follower combo alive, I figured I’d throw together a few suggestions to take us to the next level. 50 bucks here we come. (that’s my break even)

1. Cut the shit and verify your boy. I have 200K twitter followers and I own more money than that in the god damn company. It’s just disgraceful that your #1 champion is getting the cold shoulder like this. It’s like when college coaches don’t invite back their star alumni. Help me help you.

2. Give people an option to make tweets that disappear after a set amount of time. Like you tweet it and then after people look at it once it’s gone if that’s what they want to do. And if somebody screen captures it you got to let the person who took the picture know about it.

3. Let people use filters on their photos. Chicks love that shit.  (I guess you can already do that on Twitter? Well do it again!)


That’s all I got. Oh and maybe get bought by Facebook or google or something.