Tik Tok Dude Goes Crazy Viral For Asking People Driving Billion Dollar Cars What Their Jobs Are

One minor housekeeping note before I go down a quick rabbit hole of "fuck Tik Tok" rhetoric: I have looked up and down the site to see if this has been blogged or not, and haven't found anything that leads me to believe it has. I really want to assume it has and even though I haven't found anything think it probably has been, and if it has, whatever, shit happens.

Now to the meaty part of the blog: this is the first time I've ever embedded anything from Tik Tok on the site or even really looked at it before. I turn 32 on the 30th and needed to draw the "fuck millennials" line somewhere, and for whatever reason I've decided to draw it at never downloading or possessing a Tik Tok in my life. And yes some of that reasoning is because of the Chinese Govt. spying on its users. I don't want the Chinese Govt. spying on me; that'd be completely unbecoming.

Nevertheless, I hate all of these assholes driving their billion dollar cars with the fire of a billion suns. I mean I'm mad at everything, man. These why these got nice cars? I only got one car. Why do they got three cars and a wife and all that? That's played out. I'll hate on these assholes until they're totally broke and don't and don't have nothing, just like me. 

Fuck'm.

You want to impress people? Impress people with modesty. Like driving a 2016 Nissan Altima:

That's a picture of my Altima's steering wheel in the background. That bad boy cost me $14,500 in 2018. It's sharp, clean, and efficient for driving around town and no, I haven't consecrated any sort of relationship in the backseat. 

Here's a video of the Altima rocking a boot while I freaked out at this parking pirate for booting my car because I ran across the street to withdraw money from the ATM beforehand:

Never in my life have I wanted to hypothetically kill someone more in my entire life. Not once. Fuck this guy. But I bet he was impressed when I whipped out my Chase Sapphire Preferred credit card and paid $180 for the boot removal on the spot. Guaranteed that cock sucker wasn't expecting that and went home and told his wife and kid's about how he ruined some dude's day for no reason whatsoever. 

The point remains - flashy cars just make you reek of little dick syndrome. And yes, this is my weird brained spin zone on me driving a Nissan Altima and not a Lamborghini Huracan or Aston Martin. 

PS - We're live on Twitch right now if you'd like to discuss further.

Yes.  Let's discuss.