I Am Addicted to Watching People Explain How They Would Survive Horrific Car Crashes

There is a channel on TikTok that posts nothing but cars careening into a 10,000-foot pit full of jagged rocks with a body of water at the bottom and it is somehow the most entertaining thing on the internet. I don't even know what video game or simulator this thing is on, but it's electric stuff. Every night when I make my round on the Tok, I inevitably end up devoting 20 minutes to watching these vehicles be obliterated. It's the ultimate oddly satisfying content.

But now my favorite part is these guys making reaction videos about how they'd survive these crashes, because to be honest, it's exactly what I do while watching. Every time the car just skids off a rock and gets some nice separation from the side, I think, "OK, if we can just hit on the passenger side here and get to the water, we've got a chance. Sure, I'm a bus driver and 24 people have died on my watch. But as long as I can sustain the multiple concussions and scoot out this window once we hit the water I'm gravy."

I need somebody out there to devise some sort of algorithm — I don't really know what that means but I think it's applicable here — to give a chance of survival on each of these videos. The anticipation would drive numbers through the roof.