Hey Nate, why did the Nats get spanked by the Cubs over the weekend and why have the Nats lost 8 of their last 10? Uhhhh because Bryce Harper is smashing Nina Agdal, obviously (allegedly…fuck all these rules). You’d be a little off your game too if you were going 4 times a day with her. I just can’t imagine those two being in a room together for more than 14.3 seconds and not ripping off each other’s clothes. Their kids would be perfect human beings lowered from the heavens by God/Joseph Smith himself.
PS: In this blog after Bryce became single (and his ex fiance searched for me on Twitter and then blocked me) I predicted .330, 34 HRs, and 230 vaginas beaten in. In proportion, how many vaginas does Nina Agdal’s count as? Because I might be spot on with my prediction if you double the moon bombs.
UPDATE: It’s official, folks!