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Giants "Please God Win This Week Vs. The Washington District Of Columbia Football Team Of The National Football League" Preview Blog

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Look guys, I'll admit that I may be annoyingly too optimistic for the Giants fans that want to throw away a season 5 games into it after preaching for months that we needed to be patient as fans after cocksucker corona wiped out a good chunk of offseason programs as well as all of the preseason for an almost completely new coaching staff with a bunch of new players because there's a chance we can land the most hyped QB prospect since Andrew Luck or Peyton Manning if we can somehow suck worse than the Jets. But if the Giants lose to the The Washington District Of Columbia Football Team Of The National Football League Whose Name I Am Going To Incorrectly Say Roughly 100 Times During Today's Game, I am going to go to a dark place as a fan and don't know where I'll be mentally when Big Blue has to play again on Thursday night in Philly likely with the Eagles wearing those goddamn black jerseys that somehow make them faster/stronger while also somehow making Eagles fans louder/scummier.

So yeah, despite being only a 2.5 point favorite in the greatest sportsbook on the planet and having more losses over the last few seasons than the other sorry ass franchise playing in this game, today is pretty much a Must Win for my sanity as someone that has bought into Coach Judge, the standard he has set for the team, and is running laps well into #BulkingSZN. I still feel good about the guy because I can't put into words how much I loved the G-Men practicing in the rain on Friday despite the sunny skies forecasted for MetLife because it becomes a Fundamentals Day.

As always, if Coach Judge has the players working on something, I must do the same as the blogger of said football team. #TogetherBlue

Hopefully Fundamentals Day ensured the Giants don't get two big touchdowns called back because of fundamental mistakes. I am going to be mad about that Cowboys game for a very, very long time.

A few quick thoughts about today's game:

- The WDOCFTOFTNFL getting Brandon Scherff and Chase Roullier back on the offensive line just in time for this week's game sucks because I want every possible advantage I can get in this game plus reading the name Brandon Scherff reminds me of the 2015 draft when the Giants were linked to him, Washington took him 4 picks before Big Blue, and the G-Men ended up with this dickhead.

- I am legitimately excited to watching our defense, which I don't think I've said in roughly a decade, and I am particularly looking forward to see if Terry McLaurin gets thrown in Bradberry Dungeon like so many other WR1s have over the years.

- I am so excited but so scared like Jesse Spano to watch the Chase Young vs. Andrew Thomas matchup. Thomas has had some growing pains against some of the best pass rushers in the NFL but also had some decent moments too. Any Giants fan that beat their dick dry to Chase Young highlights when it looked like he would be landing with the Giants knows how awesome he can be. But I'm hoping Thomas still has Young's number like he did back in the day so there's one less freak of nature on the Red...team to unleash hell on my sweet Daniel.

Yes I fully realize Chase Young has put on roughly 200 pounds of pure muscle since this random practice clip. But I need to have our hope franchise left tackle start playing better against the potential generational pass rusher that we missed out on by two picks

- Speaking of Chase Young, I'm hoping Jason Garrett is game planning on picking on the man who helped land Young in DC by giving up roughly a zillion fantasy points in that fateful Week 15 matchup last season.

I'm also hoping Jason Garrett is actually game planning in general instead of simply running the same offense that he has since the 2000s regardless of personnel of matchups, which is actually exactly what I do in Madden.

- Speaking of the guy who put those numbers up, it's nice that all the Giants fans still complaining about the Giants drafting Daniel Jones get to watch their guy Dwayne Haskins play today.

I'm not sure where Haskins will be or what he will be playing. Madden? Warzone? Among Us? Again, I don't know. But I'm happy for all the Giants fans that want the Giants to always draft the right QB, which changes when all the other QBs they want end up looking bad on other bad franchises. Yes, I remember all the Josh Rosen hype and Sam Darnold hasn't locked up his 2nd contract yet, even though some of that feels like it's the Jets being the Jets. I'm personally gonna stay riding the #Danwagon until the wheels fall off (or the #TrevorTrain pulls into the MetLife station, in blue, not green). I'm not sure how to feel about Kyle Allen getting the start but I am happy that I don't have to watch Alex Smith play with one eye open because I'm scared his leg will collapse on any given play, even if the official spokesman for the trait of strength says Smith's leg is motherfucking strong.

Despite all the doom and gloom the last month or so, I promise you if the Giants can pull off a win today then turn around to beat an always beat up Eagles team on a short week, and end up tied for first with a couple of attainable losses by the Dakless Cowboys, we are all going to talk ourselves on this team winning this shitty division while also showing the small steps of improvement that we have been waiting/praying for the last few years.

LET'S. GO. GIANTS.