So You Can't Even Call 911 To Hit On The Dispatcher And Brag About Your Big Muscles Anymore?

UPI - A 44-year-old Florida man was arrested after he allegedly called 911 to brag about his big muscles and ask the dispatcher on a date, police said. Eduardo “Edward ” Garcia was camping at Lake Griffin State Park in Fruitland Park, Fla.,about 50 miles north of Orlando, when he called 911 to report a harassing phone call he received, police said. While on the phone, he asked the female dispatcher if she was single and told her he had big muscles. He called back twice more after the dispatcher hung up on him. Officers went to the park where Garcia was camping and found him lying in his tent with an open can of beer and three more cold ones by his side. Officers called the phone number the 911 calls had originated and the phone by Garcia rang. While in handcuffs in the police cruiser, Garcia allegedly told the police officer he wanted to head butt and kill him. He also spit on one of the officers, police said. Garcia is being held on charges of battery on a law enforcement office and misuse of the 911 system.

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Oh I’m sorry, thought we had a little something called “free speech” in America? Oh, maybe not here in 2015, but we used to. Apparently now it’s illegal to get hammered in a tent and call 911 to hit on the dispatcher. For shame, I say. For shame. You know how hard it is for some people to get dates these days? You send the feeler texts, you try to work around her schedule, you don’t want to say “date” but then you don’t want to be too ambiguous by saying “hang out”, it’s a whole big mess. So we have to cut this guy a little slack for sacking up and putting the moves on 911 lady. Confidence is key, folks, and Eduardo Garcia has it in spades. A little liquid courage and boom, he was talking about the gun show to the dispatcher and probably going out for coffee with her next week if she wasn’t such a buzzkill cockblock. Or maybe, just maybe, it was his plan all along to go to jail and get that 1-on-1 facetime with her? So creative in his dating ways. But probably just drunk and stupid. But possibly creative. But more than likely not.