Dr. Fauci: We *Might* Have A COVID-19 Vaccine By April

Giphy Images.


A vaccine for COVID-19 could be widely available as soon as this April, according to Dr. Anthony Fauci — a timeline that runs slightly longer than President Donald Trump’s previous predictions.

Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, made the assertion during an interview with CBS News Wednesday, saying a vaccine “will likely be [available] within the first quarter of 2021, by let’s say April of 2021.”

Trump has for months been targeting the release of a vaccine by Nov. 3 — election day for the US — even going so far as to say that one could be released within the next few weeks.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. We all have. We all want to get rid of this goddamn pandemic as soon as humanly possible and the most effective way to do that is with a vaccine. I'm not going to get into the politics of herd immunity, quarantining, masking, and the rest of the bullshit the assholes on both the right and the left scream about, but anyone with a brain knows that we need a vaccine and need it ASAP. Oh, and spare me your vaccine conspiracy theories. Inject that shit directly into my veins, literally.

This exact question was proposed to me last week: would you wait 3 years for a vaccine if you knew it was 100% effective, 100% safe and 100% readily available on whatever X date about 3 years from now? The worst part with all of this shit is the uncertainty. We had doctors in our shitbox office a few weeks back to give us the nasal swab tests and he said it'll be like this another 2-3 years at least, or until a vaccine is found. That would CRUSH people. Bars would die slow, torturous deaths and everyone's personal psyche would too. 

Because of that, my answer to the 3 year question was a big ol' FUCK no, and it's because I'm a selfish prick who only cares about baseball. So long as there's no vaccine, we're not going to be able to pack stadiums to the brim, and that's basically all I live for and will be living for now that the White Sox are good. Remember the 2008 blackout game?

Yeah, there ain't gonna be any blackout games with 40,000 drunken, rabid fans screaming at the tops of their lungs anytime soon and that's something I really need in my life. I can do without seeing people and quarantining and all that. That's actually a nice side effect of Covid, not having to see people. People are the worst if you're just "hanging out" and "chilling". But when I'm in a stadium, my opinion on people changes. I need all of the people in that case. 

But there is definitely some length of time I can tough out. April sounds PERFECT to me. I'll just stay inside all winter, curl up in a ball on my couch, watch some Netflix, and never see sunlight. Then all of a sudden BOOM, we're vaccinated and packing Sox Park to the fucking brim watching them win 100 games a year for the next decade with AJ Hinch at the helm.

Please be right Fauci. PLEASE. Goddamn please be right. April I can live with… any longer and I might go insane