Man Stabbed Because He Stole His Coworker's Meatball And I Think We All Agree It's Fair

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Baltimore Sun - A dispute between two employees of a Fallston business over a meatball during lunch led to a stabbing Thursday, the Harford County Sheriff’s Office said. Deputies were called to the business in the 2300 block of Belair Road around 11:10 a.m., where they learned there had been an altercation over one employee eating the other’s meatball from his lunch, Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Cristie Kahler said. An argument ensued and the employee who had eaten the meatball was stabbed in the arm by the employee whose lunch he had taken the meatball from, Kahler said. The assailant, a 31-year-old Edgewood man, fled the scene. The victim, a 36-year-old Aberdeen man, was taken to a local hospital and later discharged. Charges are pending, Kahler said.


You never, under any circumstances, steal a motherfucker’s meatball. That’s day 1 People 101 stuff. Like you walk into People 101, you sit down, you take out your 5 star notebook, and the very first slide that goes up reads “don’t steal somebody’s meatball”. You jot that shit down because it will be on the test. So flash forward to a post-college life and someone steals your meatball, what are you going to do? Do you have any other options but to stab a bitch? Probably not. You let someone steal your meatball, then what? Your house? Your wife? Your first born? If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

PS: I have no idea why there’s a picture of a meatball dressed up as a Roman soldier, but it’s perfect.