(WKRN) – Franklin police say a woman who used aerosol whipped cream cans to get high was charged with driving under the influence after crashing her car into a man’s mailbox. Anna Thomas, 28, was hospitalized after crashing into the mailbox on Battle Avenue. “I was putting dishes in the dishwasher getting ready to go to go to work when all of a sudden I heard this extremely loud boom,” said Craig Lynch, owner of the destroyed mailbox. “I actually thought a transformer had exploded,” he called police. “They started pulling out bottles of whip cream and they started sitting them on the car and they essentially ran out of room,” said Lynch. He ran outside and saw Thomas in his neighbor’s yard and discovered the damage to his mailbox. Officers on the scene said that Thomas was disoriented at the time. They also found 13 nearly-empty cans of whipped cream scattered inside the vehicle. According to records with the Williamson County Jail, this is Thomas’ 6th DUI. She is due in court on June 4th.
Kind of respect that Anna is still all about the whip it though, right? The girl is 28 years old for god’s sake. Everyone’s run into that point where you get looked down upon for your vices. You still drink Bud Light, what are you a frat boy? Still shoot Jager, is this the Jersey Shore or something? Are you dipping, you a high school athlete? And that can be an embarrassing experience. You get all uncomfortable inside, because you’re being judged, and order a glass of whiskey next. Well Anna Thomas doesn’t. She’s comfortable with her method of buzz, with who she is, and she won’t apologize for it. Who cares if it’s how pre-pubescent kids get high, it’s what works for her and she’s sticking with it. That’s wife material right there: a girl who’s cute as a button, comfortable in her own skin, and won’t shy away from a party. That’s a chick you marry then pass the whipped cream, hold the cake, and shut your fucking mouth while she gets lifted.
PS – I’ve only done one whip it in my life. I had a sleepover with friends when I was a kid and we were in the basement watching Like Mike. Of course, you’ll remember that as the Oscar nominated Lil Bow Wow film. Anyway, we snuck upstairs and huffed like a whole can of Reddi Whip. Didn’t feel shit though. So either I’m immune to nitrous oxide or a bunch of 13 year olds did drugs wrong. Probably the first one.
PPS – Hysterical pic of the cops lining up all her aerosol cans (receipts included, like she needed them for her drug addict record keeping or something)