I Not Only Rebuke The Man That Sucker Punched Rick Moranis While He Was Walking In The Street But I Hope All The Bad Things In Life Happen To Him And Nobody Else But Him

CBS- The NYPD confirms Rick Moranis was randomly attacked by a stranger Thursday on the Upper West Side. Police said it happened in broad daylight just before 7:30 a.m. on Central Park West near 70th Street. Surveillance cameras captured the attack on the 67-year-old “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” and “Ghostbusters” actor. Video shows the suspect walk up and punch Moranis in the head, knocking him to the ground. Police said he went to the hospital with pain in his head, back and hip. He later visited the precinct to report the crime.

I know we are at the point where 2020 has become a self-fulfilling meme of bullshit that somehow gets worse by the day. But seeing the man that brought delightful characters like Louis Tully, Danny O'Shea and Wayne Szalinski to the silver screen get sucker punched is the rock bottom for humanity. Someone pull the plug on this simulation or if this hellscape is actually real, please tell the next meteor that is scheduled to jusssssst miss Earth to recalculate its GPS so it can slam us all out of our misery dinosaur style.

I consider sucker punchers to be amongst the scourge of humanity that commit crimes with heavier sentences just because it is such a fucked up act that can straight up ruin a human. However, a sucker puncher of maybe the most genuinely likable celebrity ever even before you realize he retired from the business he was crushing to take care of his kids after his wife passed away is the most rotten individual in a city full of them. I know, or at least HOPE, this fuckhead didn't know he was punching Rick Moranis. But even if he didn't, everyone in the city needs to chip in a buck so we can have a multi-million dollar reward for whoever brings this dude and his ironic I Heart NY shirt in because we need to protect Rick Moranis at all costs.

Get well soon Rick!

I know the No Free Ads policy here at Barstool, but come on. It's Ryan Reynolds pumping the likability tires of Rick Moranis. If anybody has a problem with that, they can meet me in the ring at the next Rough N Rowdy