Cyber Monday Sale - 20% OffShop Now

A Bunch Of Fucking Idiots At A Wildlife Park Removed Five Parrots From Their Exhibit Because They Were Cursing At Guests

(Source)- The chief executive of Lincolnshire Wildlife Park had to temporarily remove five newly adopted parrots from public view after they started swearing at the customers. The Friskney park, which opened in 2003 and is home to over 1,500 parrots, accepted the new flock on August 15.

The birds were all quarantined together in the same room, but soon discovered they all shared one thing in common – the ability to blast out obscenities Hearing the foul language, staff around the park couldn’t help but crack and smile, which the park’s chief executive officer Steve Nichols said only encouraged the birds even more.

What a story coming from out of cheeky ol' Lincolnshire. Some birds of a feather dropping F-bombs together in quarantine sounds absolutely delightful to me considering most of the other news we have been receiving for roughly the last 10 months. Which is why I have to ask why if this wildlife park, which sounds like a more boring version of a zoo, has an overabundance of customers or something? Because hiding cursing parrots from potential customers is essentially the same as killing the golden goose. 

Wait, what was that?

Mr Nichols admits the swearing parrots has provided some light relief during a tough time for the park because of the pandemic. He said: “It has been very hard. The charity is going to end up losing somewhere between £300,000 and £400,000 for this year.

“It has been a real rough year, but we are the eternal optimists and we have no option. We have to keep moving forward.

I may not be cultured enough to know what type of funny money symbol that is, but losing around 350,000 pounds (lire? dineros?) is not a good idea. I am cultured however to realize I good time when I read it and this sounds like a blast.

“The more they swear the more you usually laugh which then triggers them to swear again.

“But when you get four or five together that have learnt the swearing and naturally learnt the laughing so when one swears, one laughs and before you know it just got to be like an old working men’s’ club scenario where they are all just swearing and laughing.”

Now as a father of two children, I get that you can't have birds unloading four letter words at young'ns or else we would have straight up lawlessness in the home when your kid calls you a piece of shit for not giving them dessert because they wouldn't eat their peas. But why couldn't this group of parrots be moved to some sort of Bad Birds exhibit where only people who were old enough to truly appreciate a good curse word could enter? Removing these hooligans for acting more like roughneck zoo birds than fancy shmancy wildlife parks would have been like rolling up a newspaper and squishing Charlotte the spider as she was making all those webs for that wonderful pig Wilbur at Zuckerman Farm.

Giphy Images.

I still have not recovered emotionally from the end of that movie

The bottom line is if this wildlife park wants to hit its bottom line, it puts those cursing birds in a place where people can laugh with them and maybe teach them some new words because parrots cursing is just flat out funny and by far the most entertaining thing anybody will see at a wildlife park.