Okay so first of all, let me just say that I think Colin Cowherd could probably do a wonderful Cartman impression. In fact, I think he'd do pretty fantastic as a voice actor on any animated series. So that's just something to keep in the back pocket for whenever everybody finally stops giving a shit about this loser.
Secondly, you know when you were a kid and you'd go on a road trip with your family and your little brother would be in the back seat saying a bunch of nonsense and just making annoying sounds to piss everybody off because he's bored? Well that's essentially what Colin Cowherd gets paid to do on a daily basis. He just gets up there and spews off as much idiotic nonsense as possible just so people hear what he says. He would never want them to actually listen to what he says because he's typically dead wrong about 97% of the time. He just wants to be heard. He's your annoying ass little brother/drunk uncle/that dipshit friend who everybody tries to avoid but still manages to pop up everywhere you go. I'm sure Carson will be devastated to learn about how much stress his backwards hat has put on this lunatic.