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Pennsylvania Authorities Search For A Missing Paraglider All Night Aaaaaaand Turns Out He Was Just Chilling Safely In Bed

6abc - Police and emergency crews spent a good portion of Monday night following up on reports of a missing paraglider, searching the area through the early morning Tuesday, but as it turns out the man was at home safe in bed.

...The searchers suspended the search around 1:30 a.m. Tuesday morning, saying conditions were too dark to continue in the thickly wooded area. They had planned to regroup and continue the search at 9 a.m. with a dive team to search a nearby lake when they learned that the paraglider had landed safely Monday night.

Turns out a man phoned police early Tuesday morning saying he believed it was him they were searching for. He said he landed, went home, turned off his phone and went to bed.

Some folks wake up to the sound of the birds chirping. Others wake up to the smell of a fresh pot of coffee brewing and some bacon sizzling. And then there are some folks who wake up to see that they're on a missing persons report and the entire county is searching for them because people think they crashed in a paragliding accident. All are delightfully peaceful ways to start your day. 

But boy oh boy did this fella handle this entire situation about as poor as possible. Buddy,,,,,you just hit the jackpot. A gift from god just magically fell directly into your lap. Under no circumstances should you ever turn yourself in in this scenario. Especially not right away. You just got a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card on all the responsibilities in your life. People thought you were missing. You could have let that go on for as long as you wanted. No work, no trips to the in-laws, no nothing. You got the golden ticket. At the very least you need to give yourself a free trial of the "fake your own death" life. At least give yourself a week just to try it out and see if you like it. If not, then you've had enough time to come up with a story and can turn yourself in. 

Calling right away though to tell the authorities you just got a full 8 hours of sleep and are totally fine? Well you'll probably never get that chance again in your life. I'm glad he's okay and everything, but that's a once in a lifetime opportunity. And he ended it before lunch. Poor bastard probably still had to go into work today. Such a shame.